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Recebi por mail esta Circular Interna e confesso que não resisti a partilhá-la convosco... lembrou-me logo dos nossos amigos do nuorte, carago! LOL

"Envio na Integra Circular Interna (verídica) de uma multinacional Americana em Portugal (no Porto)."

It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our corporate Headquarters that offensive language is commonly used by our Portuguese-speaking staff.

Such behaviour, in addition to violating our Policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and colleagues.

In order to avoid such situations please note that all Staff is kindly requested to IMMEDIATELY adhere to the following rules:

1) Words like "merda, caralho, foda-se, porra or puta-que-o-pariu" and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion.

2) You will not say "cagada" when someone makes a mistake, or"ganda-merda" if you see somebody either being reprimanded or making a mistake, or "que-grande-cagada" when a major mistake has been made.

All forms derivate from the verb "cagar" are inappropriate in our environment.

3) No project manager, section head, or executive, under no circumstances, will be referred to as "filho-da-puta, cabrão, ó-grande-come-merda", or "vaca-gorda-da-puta-que-a-pariu".

4) Lack of determination will not be referred to as "falta-de-colhões" or "coisa-de-maricas" and neither will persons who lack initiative as "picha-mole, corno", or "mariconso".

5) Unusual or creative ideas from your superiors are not to be referred to as "punheta-mental".

6) Do not say "esse-cabrão-enche-a-porra-do-juízo" if a person ispersistent. When a task is heavy to achieve remember that you must not say "é uma-foda". In a similar way, do not use "esse-gajo-está-fodido" if colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say "que-putedo" when matters become complicated.

7) When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say "vai-à-merda". Do not ever substitute "May I help you" with "que-porra-é-que-tu-queres??" When things get tough, an acceptable statement such as "we are going through a difficult time" should be used, rather than "isto-está-tudo-fodido".

8) No salary increase shall ever be referred to as "aumento-dum-cabrão".

9) Last but not least after reading this memo please do not say "mete-o-no-cu". Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.

We hope you will keep these directions in mind.

Thank you."

Sei Lá!